Twas the night before Christmas & all through the house,
not a creature was stirring .... well .... except for our dwarf hamster Belle.
(I mean, she's nocturnal & all - she always seems to be training for the rodent Olympics around this time)
The stockings were hung in the doorway by tacks,
In hopes that they'll hold up when filled to the max.
The children were nestled, all snug in the rear seat of the minivan;
While visions of gift cards danced in their head.
With Mama Dawn on my right & my cellphone on my hip;
We'd just settled in for a long winter's trip.
When there arose from my wife such a clatter, that I slammed on the brakes to see what was the matter.
The beautiful Dawn was alarmed so I parked in a flash,
Got my cell at the ready & leaned on the dash.
Then she said with a whisper, that I heard like a clap,
The kids presents are bought, but nothing is wrapped.
The food isn't cooked, she continued to say,
And the house is a mess because I fired the maid.
With a twitch of my wrist l shifted in gear,
And floored it because Christmas soon would be here.
Faster than eagles on my course I did drive,
My family is lucky that we're all still alive.
Past Arnold & Barnhart, past Imperial & Pevely,
Then Herky & Festus, beyond Bloomsdale & Zell.
Then what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But what seemed to be a comic book hero was suddenly here.
She said not a word, as she looked for the tape,
I soon noticed the big "S" that was sewn on her cape.
"To the top of the Porch! To the end of the hall!
Get the kids off to bed & I will soon wrap them all."
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
When she meets with an obstacle, she's certain to try.
So off to the table with wrapping paper she flew,
With a sleighful of toys - and a DVD too.
And in a twinkling I saw gifts all under the tree,
I then ran to the kitchen to see her moving quickly.
As I shook my head & was turning around,
Amazingly now, a clean house I now found.
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
She filled all the stockings, then looked at this jerk.
Removing her cape, she laid it aside,
She then rolled into bed, & laid on her side.
But I heard this refrain, as sleep ended her night,
"Merry Christmas to all & to all a goodnight!"
This has been my way to say Merry Christmas to my beautiful Dawn - the love of my life & genuine Superwife - I love you!